A confession:

I’m not writing materials to teach your church about homosexuality.  Well, not as such.  After a three week long struggle with the format of my book and the flow of my book and the tone of my book I went to a few friends in desperation to see if what was coming out of me was the least bit worthwile.  I found myself facing a common dilemma:  people who agreed with me would agree with me, and people who disagreed with me would likely feel poked in the eye.

So what to do?  Because the audiences I want to write for are 1) people who disagree with me and 2) gay people so they know I don’t think they are the enemy.

And a friend of mine very wisely said, “write it as a conversation.”  Because in a conversation you can show as many points of views as you can have participants.  In a conversation each point of view can be defended by the holder.  In a conversation you can allow people to identify with the speaker they agree with, and thus act as a mirror when things go somewhere that the reader wouldn’t want to go.

So I’m not writing a dissertation on homosexuality anymore.

I’m writing a novel.  I’m telling the story of an associate pastor who feels deeply convicted when a gay couple starts to attend her church, and one of the elders screams for them to be sent away.  The associate pastor threatens to tender her resignation if any action is taken against the gay couple- which is where our story begins.  The pastor asks her to wait, so they can talk things through.

Everyone starts talking.  The associate pastor (Zoe) talks to the pastor (John).  Zoe talks to the gay couple, Kyle and Evan.  Zoe talks to an ex-gay minister who is a friend of hers, who encourages her to be Christ to Kyle and Evan even if it costs her everything.  That minister then talks to John, who talks to the elders, who still want Kyle and Evan gone.

Then things get very, very interesting, as by this point the pastor has come around and sees that if Kyle and Evan are sent away it will be at the cost of their love for God.  So what should he do?  Appease the Elders, who are “strong enough in faith” to take care of themselves, or show mercy to the gays?

More talking commences.

And thus the story goes.  It still has all of the material my original book was going to cover, just in a more easily digestable format.  I would still strongly suggest giving it to anyone who has questions about how a good Christian should feel about homosexuality, or even to give it to someone who strongly opposes allowing gay people to be active in the church as an admonition that such a stance likely comes at the cost of a few souls.  And, while we’re handing it out, give it to your gay friends, too.  Show them that there are committed heterosexual Christians who aren’t afraid of poking a few hypocrites in the eye when it comes to the issue of sexuality.

Right now I’m 3/4 of the way through writing the thing, the first draft will be done this weekend.

It’s been a wild and wonderful journey.  (And it’s not over yet)

4 thoughts on “A confession:

  1. hi lindsey! thank you so much for your continued posts. I have read every one (though I haven’t commented). the reason I haven’t commented is because something has been floating around in my head and in my heart for a while now, concerning your blogs. but I haven’t known how to articulate it, and thus my silence.

    but now I’m ready to comment and you don’t have to post this if you don’t want. I’m simply writing to you personally.

    I am a bible- believing Christ-follower. I am in full-time ministry. and I am gay. I love how loving you are toward gay christians and I so appreciate your passion to teach others in the church how to love people like me. however, everytime I read your posts, as of late, I have come away hurting. I couldn’t put my finger on it until recently. now I realize what it is: I’m hurt by the fact that you don’t (as far as I know) acknowledge whether or not you think who I am is a sin. the more I read, the more it comes across that you do believe its a sin. and that is so hurtful to someone like me. though you’re blogs are enlightening and amazing, they seem to further perpetuate the false belief that being gay is a sin in God’s eyes, which in turn perpetuates people’s actions and perceptions about gay christians. I don’t just want someones love. that is better than hate yes and tolerance. but what really hurts most is when a friend of mine knows I’m gay, loves me, but still thinks who I am is an unrepentant sinner.

    just my thoughts. I hope you hear my heart and my intentions. you are amazing and wise and you are changing the way people see. I truly believe that. I just had to be honest with my feelings. it still hurts to read and see between the lines. it seems that your blogs still feed into the lie that being gay is a sin. it makes me want to stay in the closet more than I already am. and I so badly wanted to email you my personal journey but I wasn’t able to get it in by the specified deadline. I’m so sorry!

  2. Linda Lee: I already wrote to you via email, but just to clarify for everyone else reading this- I never speak about my personal convictions on the subject for one (two part) reason: if I said, “it’s not sin”, I would do so at the expense of my argument to those who DO believe it is sin. They would assume that the ONLY reason I would have to preach acceptance is because I disregard the question of sin. So if I want to write to that audience, I would have to write in such a way to not make myself so easily ignorable.

    And if I did believe it was sin, it would hurt a lot of women I’ve come to care about.

    Just trust me when I say it doesn’t matter– all that matters is what you hear God telling you about yourself. I will trust in his love for you and your love for him. That is all that matters. Do I believe you are an unrepentant sinner? ABSOLUTELY NOT. I honestly believe that if God had told you he had another plan for your life you would change, in a heartbeat. So you are not unrepentant. It’s just that God’s call for your life isn’t always what other Christians would expect.

    I, for one, am fine with that.

  3. wow lindsey. the Lord never ceases to amaze me through you. thank you so much for your kind reply. it sets my heart at rest. keep writing. i completely see where you’re coming from and i really appreciate you writing me back and explaining. blessings to you sister. and i mean that. i’m praying for you. thank you again for all your doing on behalf of people like me. and you’re right, i would absolutely change in a heartbeat if i heard God call me into another plan for my life.

    what breaks my heart is when i hear christian speakers (who seem to be coming out of the woodworks) bash gays. misquoting scripture and telling people that the BIble says homosexuals will go immediately to hell.

    i would love for you to start reading some of this woman’s posts because she represents everything that hurts gay christians. i wish you could get in contact with her and share your heart and blog with her. i’ll let you pray about that. here is her blog address. you will find her recent posts on gay marriage especially disheartening.


    thanks again!

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