A recent review of my book in Harlot’s Sauce magazine pointed out something interesting. Throughout the book there is the implication that if God cares about someone’s sexuality and wants them to change it, that through acceptance and knowledge of God they will be convicted and change. Thus, of course, the book also implies to just leave it up to God.
There is an unasked question in that scenario:
DOES GOD CARE?
I neither ask the question, nor do I answer it. I never really answer it. I felt a twinge of sadness when I read the review of my novel, because I would never want to imply that I feel that gay people ought to change. My book was written with as careful a stance as this blog is, not seeking to betray the confidences of people on either side of the aisle. Often I am accused, therefore, of betraying both.
I get asked these questions: “why aren’t you honest with your gay readers about what the Bible says?” and “why don’t you tell your fellow Christians if you don’t feel it’s a sin?” I’m t0ld, “I feel as if you’re betraying yourself by not saying it is a sin if you’re convicted that it is,” and “It hurts to think that you may think I’m a sinner, because you never really truly say otherwise.”
And it hurts, constantly, because I feel like I’m being pulled in two, I feel as if no matter what I do I will inevitably hurt my voice with either one set of loved ones or another.
But I will try, for the sake of goodness, to be as sincere as possible.
Does God care that people are gay?
Well, he certainly cares about gay people. And in one sense, that question can always be answered “yes”, just as God cares that people are happy, that they are sad, that they sin, that they don’t, that they find love, that they won’t. God always cares.
But does God want gay people to change? That question CANNOT be answered by me, and I can’t possibly be emphatic enough about that point. It’s simply not my place. Each person on this planet must answer for their own state, their own position with God. God may care about the young man who is gay not because he finds love in it but because he is trying to fix something inside himself that is broken. God may very much want for that young man to change- but is that EVERY gay man? To assume so would be absurd. We don’t know the answer- I don’t know the answer. I have spoken with some gay people who have chosen to model a heterosexual lifestyle out of a desire to please God, some who have felt that God takes pleasure in their homosexual union and families. Who has found truth?
That’s simply not my story to tell or my question to answer. It’s as simple as this: I know who I am. I am a writer, an artist, a friend, a mother. I know that I was created to be these things and live this life. But I have other friends that are called to other lives. Some people feel that by taking pleasure in things such as television and movies they are able to expand their lives and others feel called away. Some people feel a social drink or two is a pleasure, others feel God condemn it. Some feel that smoking is wrong, others don’t, some feel that sexual imagery of any kind is wrong, others don’t. Each person has, in their heart, their own set of rules, their own set of beliefs. Sometimes these are soft and moldable and sometimes they are hard and unchanging. But I do believe that each unique person has their own way of being, and God created them that way for a reason.
I don’t know why some are gay and some are not, why some find peace and some do not, why we are not able to come to a happy conclusion.
But I do know one thing, with absolute certainty: it is not my question to answer. I am to love and embrace, to help and protect, to applaud and celebrate each on their way.
Does God care that you are gay?
What do you think?